Judgement Breakdown

We all suffer from judgement, it’s all pervasive. Recently, I had a huge breakdown that lead to one of my greatest breakthroughs… JUDGEMENT!

My vulnerable share…I pray that this inspires you to look at how judgement might be blocking you from your highest truth and sovereignty. So here I go. I struggle with judgement everyday. I judge myself for not being good enough, worthy enough, not showing up enough, for not being successful enough. I judge my body, the way I dress, the way I write and the way I speak. I then judge myself for judging myself. I judge strangers, friends and my family. I judge the news, social media and the world in its totality.

I started to witness this destructive pattern… What was lurking underneath all of this darkness? Where did it come from, and why do I continue to indulge in this habit? I started to witness more and more…my desire was to be FREE without fear from judgement. So I started to pray, listen and be still. I had to do my own inner healing work to understand why I had such a deep wound. I trusted the process.

From a young age there was a division, a separation… Those who have more or less, those who are more educated than others. The wealthy and poor, the pretty and the not so pretty. The strong and the weak. The Christian and the Catholic. I was raised on an outdated value system; your worthiness was measured from your external self. The job title you hold, the house you have, the neighbourhood you lived in, the amount in your savings account. The way you look and the clothes you wear. Your family status. I took an honest inventory at 33 and realized that none of that matters. We are not separate. It’s only our ego that separates us from others, or makes us feel that we are not good enough. What really matters is how I choose to show up in this world!

At 27, I accomplished everything society told me to do in order to attain happiness and success. I had travelled to a few countries, worked a corporate job with a fancy title, lived on the coastline in South Africa with a partner I thought I would marry, had a good amount of savings, a classy car, and from the outside “my life” looked amazing. However, inside I was lonely, empty and very judgemental!

Judgement was my greatest defence. Deep inside I held inner child wounds that made me judge. Judgement was my protector for many years. I’ve tried to dismiss the judgement, but time and time again judgement made me feel uncomfortable, stuck and depressed!

I came to realize that witnessing these judgements instead of getting entangled in them, takes away its power… I started to look more closely at my judgements…I started to feel the feelings when I’m judging…how does this judgement feel in my body? I started a judgement journal to record when, where and who I judge. It takes a lot of willingness to look at this. By speaking our truth we set ourselves free, and I’m committed to speaking my highest truth. I’m reclaiming my freedom in choice and I get to choose who I want to show up as in this world without judging myself or to be concerned about others judging me…

I don’t think I will ever stop judging, I’m just not allowing the judgement to spiral into a negative belief about myself or others. Judgement can be healthy. I’m now able to witness, digest and see the deeper meaning of my judgements. My judgements are not who I am. No one is more sacred than you, or more special. We are all divine beings in our own way, and our true nature is LOVE. Our judgement is a projection of what we need to heal inside of ourselves. I now take my judgements and turn them around to inspire and empower myself.

I’ve come to understand that releasing judgement sets me free to be happy! I choose happiness, I choose love and I choose joy! Thank you to the incredible Gabby Bernstein for writing the book Judgement Detox, it was such a gift to receive your insight on this breakthrough experience!