Abortion and GRIEF

 

I would like to open the conversation on this taboo topic… I meet many women carrying shame and guilt around their experience around abortion and/or miscarriage.  Sometimes because of this stuck energetic experience it blocks and hold women back from living a life filled with joy!

 

Diving deeper into my own inner healing as a doula, I’ve processed my own abortion experience and pain over the past almost 11 years. I’ve grown to have grace and compassion for 19-year-old me, who chose to have an abortion. At that age, I convinced myself that somehow this page in the story of my life could be erased, forgotten. But, now I see so clearly. It was a lie. And I was in such a place of vulnerability and desperation that I was willing, eager even, to believe it.

 

I never took the time to grieve, to sit and really digest what happened.  There was shame and guilt, this is something I haven’t shared with many. But I believe that I don’t have to be the victim of my story.  My compassion is fueled by taking into consideration the confusion created by abortion and by much of society.

 

When we deny women the right to grieve, we are saying that that child’s life who was aborted didn’t really matter.

 

It is not uncommon to feel relieved after an abortion. There is no longer a pregnancy consuming our thoughts. You can return to normal life. But then months, or even years later, you begin to think a lot about the abortion in your past. This is what happened to me…Sister, I want you to know that you are not alone!

If you have experienced an abortion, you may be struggling with feelings of loss and depression.

Here are some questions that helped me to move through this pain and suffering:

  • Why am I so ashamed?
  • Why do I feel this way?
  • How can I start the healing process?
  • Why do I still think about my abortion?
  • Does anyone really understand what I’m going through?
  • Will I be able to get pregnant again?
  • Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?
  • How do other people get through this?
  • Do I need someone to talk to?

You may also be struggling with post abortion symptoms like guilt, depression, feeling numb in your womb, regret, depression, thoughts of suicide, fertility issues, self abusive behaviors (drugs, eating disorders, alcohol)??  Sound familiar?

These symptoms after abortion should be taken seriously. If you have had an abortion in the past and are experiencing any of these symptoms, and need support or need to talk to someone then I can help! You are not alone. As an earth doula, my intention is to provide nonjudgmental emotional and physical support before, during, and after an abortion procedure.

I realize the word doula isn’t in everyone’s daily vocabulary, and in order to effect positive change, demystifying the work doulas do, and on a broader level, “de-stigmatizing” abortion is of utmost importance to me!

You can reach out to followyourblisscr@gmail.com or send me a DM